As we’re approaching the end of 2015 I thought I’d do a blog on staying positive and keeping your head held high when things get too hard, this is something that I’ve had to do a lot in the last few months as I’ve gone into my second university. I’m not going to lie, there’s been many times over the last few months, for years even (more than people know), where I’ve wanted to quit university and just give up, where things have gotten too much and assignments are too hard unless you actually sit and think about them. So, how and why am I still carrying on?
Well, it’s pretty simple, I want a good job in the future and I want to make something of myself. I want to say “you know what, yes I’m blind but I’ve got a degree and I’m proud of what I achieved.”
Sometimes I often wonder why am I even doing this; I often think I’m going to fail and that’s honestly one of the things that scares me the most. What if I let myself and others down? But you won’t succeed if you don’t try, if you fail or things don’t work out and you know deep down you tried, that’s all that matters. No one can say that you didn’t try and do your best!
I just keep thinking to myself that I’m going to come out with a good degree at the end of these three years and get somewhere in life.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the last few months that if you’ve got a problem and you’re struggling to sort it yourself, talk about it to someone, and ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness or that you’re not coping, sometimes we just need some help and support and that’s ok.
I’ve also learnt to surround myself with people that love me for who I am. For years in school, it became even more apparent in sixth form that I wasn’t popular and that didn’t bother me. The thing that bothered me the most was the fact that people wouldn’t look beyond my disability and see me for who I really am, my disability doesn’t define me. Trust me, now that I have people around me that look beyond my disability I’m so much happier and a more positive and confident person. It’s crazy what a difference it makes.
Someone said to me the other day that I always seem happy and always so relaxed about things. It got me thinking so that’s why I decided to write this post. I’m far from that, I have my down days and I stress about every little thing. I do try to hide it sometimes but sometimes I just need to let it all out. Imagine a big ball of stress…yep that’s me on the inside. I’m a worrier, overthinker and get stressed about everything. Sometimes we just need to be selfish and try to help ourselves. We often live in silence and don’t talk about what’s bothering us, we bottle it up. In society if we do talk we’re often seen as attention seeking, but if you need to get something off your chest do it. Everybody has down days, days where they feel like they can’t do it anymore. We all have those days where we just want to stay in bed and switch off from the world. But face your problems, you’re not alone. No one can save you until you save yourself. Out of any moment of darkness can actually be the brightest if you allow yourself to learn from it and grow from it.
I don’t even know if this blog makes sense to any of you or even if anyone reads my blog posts anymore but if you do and this helps you even the tiniest bit, that’s all that matters. Remember: it’s going to be okay. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.